Paying it Forward

In 2021, I moved to San Francisco for the summer.

This was part of my software engineering internship at the time at Amazon. I got the opportunity to migrate there on the company dime and experience what life would be like as a college-graduated, full time associate.

A free-trial into adulthood, that’s how I saw it.

I experienced many unexpected acts of kindness during this period. My Airbnb owner took me with her to meet her colleagues for her birthday dinner, and despite it being her birthday, they paid for my dinner as well. My college friend and I got brunch with his older sister at a French restaurant, and as a “Welcome to San Francisco” treat, she paid for our brunch and even let us stay with her for a few days at her place. My coworker I collaborated with on a project in college with met me for dinner and picked up the bill before the meal even started, much to my surprise.

I was not used to this kind of generosity at the time. I’d think to myself, Why would someone I’m not close to go out of their way to pay for my meal? I was genuinely confused and bluntly asked all of them why they did that. These were the responses I got:

“You just got a salad! Why would we let you pay for that?”

“Haha it’s alright, I have interns on my team too. They’re your graduating year and are also coming to California from other states. I hope SF treats you well!”

“Because I’m older than you. Go spend your intern money somewhere else.”

Well, I did end up spending my intern money somewhere else. And I didn’t think about these encounters again until fairly recently.

In December of 2023, my friend Shree invited me to top-rope climb with her and her friends. Although I’ve been bouldering a few times, top-roping was new to me, as you need someone with a license to belay you, and no one I knew in the past had one.

Can you tell we had fun that day? :P

I was immediately awestruck by the level of strength and coordination it took to belay someone. I knew this was a skill I wanted someday. More importantly, I was so inspired that my friends were willing to belay me, and felt strongly obliged to return the favor someday.

With the goal of being certified in mind, I began training with Shree. We went climbing twice a week for about six weeks. Each time she showed me different concepts, like how to tie a figure eight knot, how to remove slack from the system, and how to lower the climber once their climb is complete. She belayed me at least 12-14 times, and each time I eagerly looked forward to when I’d get my license so I could return the favor.

Well, that day came much later than I expected. Shortly after I passed the test, Shree moved to Charlottesville for law school :(

Here's a picture of me beaming after I got my license! I was quite excited to recieve it :)

What did happen, though, is that I started climbing a lot with other people. I climb at a facility in Long Island City, and my friend Nakul lives close by in Astoria so I invited him to climb so I could belay him. His first time climbing with me was his first time climbing ever! I believe he quite enjoyed it; we ended up climbing together with me belaying him a few times after that.

I took my parents climbing and did the same! They were very trusting of my abilities and enjoyed not having to worry about the height, just focusing on the climb. I even took a few groups of work friends, who were all initially very skeptical of my abilities but quickly came around after I demonstrated a few trust falls with them and showed how gentle the process was. Even though none of these people could belay me, I had so much fun providing this facility for them. These sessions were fun, but I still felt a tinge of debt that I had yet to belay Shree.

It was only when I reflected on my journey that it hit me: this is paying it forward!

Shree introduced me to top-roping, and with her guidance I was able to become belay certified. With this guidance, I was able to belay others and introduce them to top-roping as well. Sharing the love, knowledge, and experience with my community was, in a way, akin to paying back my source. This is what people really mean by paying it forward!

While none of my friends (save for Shree) have been able to belay me yet, if someday they get licensed and belay others I’ll be beyond satisfied. In the meantime, I’ll be busy sponsoring intern and new grad dinners for my peers, as a “Welcome to New York!” treat. If any of them even attempt to pay me back, I intend to strongly refuse and let them know they can pay for the interns / new grads they work with once they’re in my shoes. Together this way, we’ll build a community and keep the kindness rolling :)